They say that winter always describes as cold, numbness, scarcity even associates with death. For me, that is snow, that is those days of bluster and ice that can be dangerous, but it can be also magical.
It is a flash of diamonds that are covered everywhere. It is just all pure and white. May I wish that these thick pillows adorned on the trees and the soft and fluffy snow I am stepping on could heal all my worries about the future.
Yet today, I am happy simply to walk with my family in it, it creates footprints of our own. The snow is soft enough that walking itself is very challenging because aside from it is so slippery, my feet are plunging to it.
" God... please help me not to slip." The worried thoughts of a 27- week pregnant mommy me. And this is my winter pregnancy worries.
As I was holding Hannah on my left hand while I was holding the bars walking slowly and carefully watching my steps towards the snow. I was seeing an ash snow-packed ground as it covered my shoes every time I stepped on it.
" God, please hold on to me. Don't let me fall on the ground." I am praying to God while feeling so anxious about being pregnant playing in the slippery snow. And this experience brought me back to a story of why hedgehogs hibernate in winter.
I just felt like a hedgehog in the children’s story who is so worried so much about winter that she couldn’t sleep. She tossed and turned until she found herself sleeping all winter and as she woke up realizing that spring is here and winter is over.
I was so worried about what is going to happen after and how will I get by after giving birth. And the question on how will I get through it? A lot of things running in my head that instead of enjoying the winter, I just caught up myself not doing anything and just like the hedgehog, I am hibernating.
" Just wake me up when winter ends."
The same worries that were in my head when we go for a snow play. Instead, to have fun, I was so worried that maybe the road is so slippery or it will too much weigh of the snow over the weekend that the trees could fall.
However, God is very gracious and He assures us that He is there and we can talk to Him about our needs. We can cry out for help and He promised that He will hear us. (Philippians 4:6)
The crystalline joy of winter with those brilliant rays of every snowflake symbolizes God’s promise is true. No matter how dangerous winter can be there is the magic that it can give you joy and peace in your heart. Then happiness comes in. Same happiness I saw in my daughter while playing with snow. She never thought about the danger of snow or too much cold on her.
So, I started playing with Hannah. We played as a snow angel and try to sculpt a snowman even we couldn’t.
In the middle of fun play, my son screamed and cried calling for me.
“ Mama I need a hug. It is cold.” He complained.
I took him to the car and kept him warm. He likes the winter but it was too cold for him that he stopped playing the snow. Keeping himself warm was the best thing he experienced that day. I almost fell asleep, but him, he was still playing inside the car.
However, my daughter with her father was having a good time in her slid. She did toboggan suddenly and sharply down the slope. After multiple attempts, she finally got the hang on how to control the ride.
I was so proud of her watching the live streaming video inside my car. She was also playing with the snowmen sculptures. She was standing there so proud of her snowman after her toboggan slide.
Well… it is not actually her who created the snowman, it was a family who had fun creating this magnificent sculpture and she just gave her piece of carrot to put it on their snowman. And it did now look so perfect. I am sure if only the snowman could talk, he would probably have thanked her for bringing his nose.
Their snowman sprung up very quickly with Hannah’s carrot nose, arm sticks, and dark eyes. Looking at it and made the family laugh after building it, it is always worth a try to make one. All were having fun except my son and me who were waiting for them hiding from the cold snow inside this warm van.
Well... I guess happiness in winter happens when you expect to be in trouble but turns to be good. Later on, we realize that positive outcomes are not depending on the weather or seasons, it depends on your perspectives. If you look at my daughter's perspective in cold, she didn't even mind or worried about the danger while doing the toboggan, but instead, she is the one who has so much fun.
We just learn to trust the Lord in prayers. My prayer is that He will help me to look at the positive outcomes in every difficult situation or problem and to expect that I will triumph rather than to be in tragedy. I know it takes time to let go because I rely on myself on my strength. I know God will help me to be worry-free and let him do the impossible.
If I do trust the Lord, I will look at winter from my daughter's perspective. It will be as magical and pure as it is described to be. Just purely feeling of warm, fun, peace, safe and sound. I could beat that feeling of danger when I got God in the midst of it. I pray that He change my worries into faith and turns my fears into happiness in Him. I pray that He will teach me to see beauty and wealth in the smallest thing like a little child does; and may I enjoy the winter as a treasure that will fill my life with the finest. Amen.
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